Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Dear Me 2016

Dear Me,

Well here we meet again, strangers in the night until that fateful day you open this to read about all your hopes and dreams put down on "paper."  I hope to not disappoint.

2015 held a lot of promise at the beginning of the year.  You were geared up and ready to take on the world, or your own body I suppose.  But day after day, the struggles from 2014 kept sneaking in and taking back over.

A bajillion doctors later, you've gotten 2 diagnoses and 2 surgeries were done. By the time you're reading this, you should be just blowing it out of the water again.  You'll be 8 months post op on your hip and you know what that means?  That means if you haven't gone out for a walk today, you need to get your tush off the chair it's residing in and get out there because you were born to move.  The itch and passion of just simply getting out there and walking has never left you.  And I can only hope for the healing to go fast and successful so that you can enjoy the weather again.  Enjoy the time alone.

Your hand will probably still be a hot mess by the time this reaches you on the first of January.  It's a slower recovery than your hip.  Just remember that you're doing all you can to work on that movement and flexibility.

As far as eating habits go, I challenge you to keep up the healthy habits that have found their way into your kitchen throughout 2015.  Keep up with the veggies, and the healthy recipes, and the occasional cheat meal because let's be honest... I know you love the occasional homestyle, full of calories, meal. :)

I truly hope that your head is still held up high and you're proud of how far you've come.  It's not about the weight in 2015.  It's about getting better.

So with that, I bid you a farewell until the fateful day we meet again and I hope you know how much I admire you for the strength shown in 2015.


Too many passions.

Some days I overwhelm myself with all the different passions I have for things in life.  Now I don't want to make that sound bad at all!  I think it's great that I have so many likes and loves in my life!  But it becomes a problem real fast because I just can't juggle them all.  After a while they begin to feel like chores rather than a passion and I just get burned out on everything.  This is the cycle my life has taken for about the last 5 or 6 years.  I was perfect at it when I was younger, finding the time for what I wanted, when I wanted it? Cake. But not anymore.

Blogging and writing have always been a hidden passion of mine.  I've always wanted to write a book.  I thought about going back to college for an English major.  (just because I'm crazy like that).  But because of all my different passions (along with all my current struggles), my blogging has come to almost a complete halt.  I am going to try everything in my power to work on this.  Even if I'm posting one sentence, I need to get back into the swing of things!  It's already almost 2 weeks into March and I haven't done my Dear Me post yet (but that's coming right after this post let me tell you!). 

Life throws curve balls and I'm catching them all as much as I can but the ball is dropping more often than I'd like.  Things that are urgent aren't getting taken care of in a timely fashion.  But things that just take up and waste my time?  I'll do it all day long! (i.e. my video games).  But my struggles with my hip and now my wrist are really starting to eat at me.  My love for things are just less important because everything hurts.  Even leaving the house has become a struggle if I don't have to do it for my paycheck.

I have lost a lot of friends over the last year and a half because of what I've gone through.  But I've made even more who have cheered me on through thick and thin.  I wouldn't be in the state of mind I'm in without my Shrinking Jeans ladies.  It's very hard to rise above all the bad.  And I'm not always perfect at it, but I am aware of it.  I may only have one nostril above water sometimes but someone is always there to pull me up just a bit to keep me going.

I'm grateful for the friends that have been true ones.  I am not quite grateful for all my physical struggles but maybe someday I'll understand it better.  I've dealt with issues and surgeries my whole life.  This year will be surgeries 8 and 9 and I'm only 27.  I know there are lessons to be learned in everything that goes on in our lives.  I just wish I were a little more into all my passions to see above the muck.  So, here's to attempt #481618156 at blogging regularly.  And a very big, very sincere thank you to friends and family who have stuck with me and helped me along the way.