So it's been 2 1/2 weeks since my colonoscopy and things are still not great. I won't see the doctor until the end of the month so there's really nothing exciting or new there. Just horrible frustration at all the negatives and "came back normal" messages. While I am counting my blessings and know I don't have certain horrible diseases or issues, it doesn't get me any closer to where I need to be.
I took it upon myself to start 2 courses of action. The first is the gluten-free trial. My tests all came back negative for Celiac's but I'm convinced that this could potentially lead to an answer of sorts. I've been on it for a week and a half and feel like it's very hot and cold. I feel good some days and just awful other days. I am finding this trial to be extremely difficult. I have very low motivation to go in the kitchen and cook with all this going on and throw in a huge list of "can't have"... well that leads to issues. I had a breakdown over the weekend when I tried to make a pizza dough (pre-packaged and gluten free). It turned out awful and pizza dough should not have that consistency. I am very frustrated and feel that if I want/need to eat out, all I can have is Mexican food! That being said, I LOVE Mexican food (just look at half my recipe blog!) but I am having a hard time giving up flour tortillas. I am also feeling a touch guilty! I'm not putting on weight from eating too much because I'm making semi-good eating out choices... but I am feeling bad in general about all the eating out just so I can get something in my tummy. I am struggling with this and I'm doing the best I can with the little bit of hope I have left. :( I will continue this gluten-free trial until I see the GI doctor for my follow up just so I know whether or not time had any effect on my pain.
My second action is to start picking other specialists to see. There are a number of options I will be following but the first one is a dietician/allergen doctor! Even though I'm negative for Celiac's that doesn't mean it's not something I'm eating and I'm just not paying attention enough to see patterns. The doctor I've chosen specializes in digestive issues (i.e. IBS, crohns, celiac, etc). I see her for my first "getting to know you, your problems, and your hopes" appt next week and I am praying that she can help me find something! Not one of the doctors I've seen so far have even suggested this might be some sort of food allergy. They have all been hasty, test heavy, not so much talking, etc. I'm glad to have the tests done, but no alternative theories have been suggested, no plans, nothing to help me through the pain while everyone takes their time figuring it all out. So, here's hoping this allergen doctor will be one more step in the right direction!
At this point baby steps are all I have. I'm flying blind with pain and no answers. It's risking my job because of all the absences. It's causing me stress, and I've given up most of my hope. I have done everything just to make sure I stay positive even if there's no hope left inside me. That's a big change since my last undiagnosed knee issue. I understand doctors have their limits and things won't always be found, but 9 weeks of this and I'm getting tired of the fight. So happy face or not, I'm doing what I can for myself since I don't feel the doctors are doing enough for me.
With all this going on, my working out has taken a nose-dive, but now that I have my new shoes in finally...
I can start trying to put some walking miles on those bad boys. There's not much else I am able to do most days. I really need to do core workouts but it irritates my abdomen too much so walking it is! I need to get back to those walks where I can clear my head and know I'm doing everything I can for myself. :) Problems or not I can't sit still for too long. Drives me nuts!